Out Of Hiding

..I have this blank box to fill with anything and everything I desire to write about.
But I haven't the slightest clue as to what to say.
Strange.
It really annoys me that I haven't been able to write, I just don't have the motivation to do so.
Somedays I am just itching to write something, anything , to get my feelings and anger and all that fun stuff out of my system.
I don't think anyone ever reads this blog anyways, so its not so much as to be able to share with someone..But just to get it out there makes me feel a lot less burdened.
I'm waiting for someone to tell me I'm not alone in the way I feel, that they too have dealt with similar situations just to make me feel a little less alienated.
If anyone reads this...I really recommend you check out the post secret website..Because honestly I think it is the most amazingly beautiful concept and the simplicity and artistry of it all makes me so glad that someone thought of the idea.
And you know what the best part is? Well my favorite part at least....You will be able to look at so many of those secrets and think
" Hey I feel like that to " or " I do that all the time " or " Damn, I thought I was the only one "
Its really just so great and I admire the people who take that step, send their secret out , unburden themselves and just let it go...Let your inner most thought/fears just leave you as the card falls into the post box.
Its just so simple.
Makes me feel less alone knowing people out there feel and think and do things that I thought were supposed to be kept quiet.
And with that I'm off to bed for a well deserved night of rest because I can sleep in tomorrow and not feel guilty about it because its a long weekend and isn't that what they are for!?

Just Inhale And Then Slowly Exhale

Days have been long, hectic, long, busy, productive, and did I mention long?
Along with going to school 5 days a week I also work 5 days a week. I don't know how I've been managing but I have so I guess that's a good thing.
3 days of the week I go straight from school to work. The other 2 weekdays I don't work because I'm in classes until 5pm so I cant work. And the weekends..Guess what I do? Work!
now I cant really complain about my job because it really is great, I'm a photographer and the people I work with are just wonderful ladies and it kind of helps that one of them has been a very good friend of mine since we were in the second grade.
The downfall however is that I'm pushing myself pretty hard and functioning is now beginning to require more effort and getting out of bed in the morning is oh-so-hard.
The reason I'm pushing myself and staying busy is because I'm trying,desperately trying, to fill this void this hole inside of me with anything and everything I can find. Because if I'm too busy to think about things then they can not bother me. Maybe I'm just being cowardly, but for now its working and until I burn out I will continue to do this, and when I do burn out I will find a new outlet and I will survive.

You Can't See Me Behind This Mask

I haven't written in a while.
Excuse #1 - I've finally moved into my new house so that kept me really busy, and left me without an internet connection for a while.
Excuse #2 - I just haven't been able to put my feelings into words or anything tangible. So I never bothered to try.

I'm currently reading " Tuesdays With Morrie " and I'm loving it, its quick not overly wordy or detail oriented, its just straight forward. And after every Tuesday meeting you learn something new, there is always a lesson be it on Death, Money, Family, anything. It's an educated mans last moments and his life experience and lessons. I highly recommend it ( if anyone ever reads this anyways )

Asides from that, I've been pouring myself into work and school, I work 5 days a week and the other 2 days I don't get out of school till late. Under normal circumstances I don't usually like being really busy and thus not having enough "me" time, but lately I've embraced the idea. I think I'm trying to cover up and fill voids by distracting myself, maybe if I'm too busy to think about it, it will go away. Now I'm not really sure what "it" is, but something is not right, I feel almost as though I'm headed for a nervous breakdown or something of the sort. But this whole being busy thing makes me feel a little more alive.

And I have been much more productive, so my next goal is to become more organized.