This Place Is My Sanctuary

Every now and then I like to pull all the skeletons out of my closet air them out and dust them off.
Then I simply shove them right back into the closet like nothing happened.

I think I have finally come to understand why I do this.
So I wont be forgotten.
I'm terrified of being forgotten so I make sure to stir something up every now and then, that way I will never be too far out of mind, out of sight? Yes, but not out of mind.

A Break Is Needed Every Now And Then And We Were Due For One

I'm home.
The trip was great, its so beautiful to have the family together and happy and also extremely drunk for 2 weeks.
I saw a lot of them after 10 years so things have changed some of them are now married with children and some are just older as I too am. Consequently the relationships I have created with them and the interactions were vastly different than the ones that I recall from when I was younger, I'm older now..So things are different.
I got to spend about an hour in a quiet room alone with a person who in my younger years meant the world to me, he still does but its different now.
When I was a kid I absolutely adored him, he always talked to me as an equal not just a child and when he spoke to me it was as though everything else had ceased to exist and that I was the most important person in the world. I loved him, well not loved..Because I still do so you could say that I love him.
So we hung out away from all the chaos that goes on in a wedding house and talked about anything and everything. And I sat and listened to him talk about how happy he is that he found someone, he spoke so highly of her and his tone was so gentle as though if he spoke in any other tone he may shatter this delicate thing called love that he has found. He adores her you can see it in his eyes and in the way he looks at her. I'm so glad he has found someone that he's truly happy with. Sitting there and talking to him that night made my whole trip worthwhile, it was a moment in time that I know I will never forget no matter how much time passes.
So I started my journey home on a good note, my uncle whom I never really got a chance to speak with much ended up being the one to make the 2 and a half hour drive to the airport with me. We got to talk and develop some type of relationship..Well the beginning of one, so that made me happy because I want to know my family I want to be close to them all.
It was also a nice break from the world, and it was sweeter still to come back and embrace it after so long. A moment away makes things feel fresh and brand new again and that is an indescribable feeling, one I want to always remember and feel.
I got home found my bed and was gone.
But something was different.
I don't really know what but I felt different, better? Worse? Sad? I'm not sure..Its more like..I'm beginning to feel at home in my own skin.
Then out of the people I saw the next day 6 of them told me I looked different but couldn't say what it was that had changed.
Perhaps its the physical manifestation of my inner feelings.
Whatever it is I like where I am.
I'm not moving anywhere, I won't budge.