Close Your Eyes, Hold Your Breath And Just Go

I leave today.
I can't honestly say that I'm excited, because I'm not.
I feel indifferent. Actually I almost don't want to go.
I'd like to ignore the fact that there is a world outside of my bedroom.
And I hate having to put on a smile and change my attitude when we visit family.
I leave in a few hours...For two weeks and I have three items in my suitcase thus far.
And I still have to clean my room.
Obviously I'm still procrastinating.
So much to do and I just don't want to start, but I suppose I have to.

" There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. "

I always feel that way when I come home after an extended period of time and when I've been away from my usual company. Its usually more of a "not fitting in" feeling..But change none the less.
I hope I remember to pack enough glue to hold me together.
Ah well..
Here we go.
I'm off.