I Want What You Have

Love.
The variation of it.
Why is it so different for everyone? The variations make it very difficult to distinguish what is, and what is not, real.
The honeymoon stage.
Why does it have to end? Why do we allow the "real world" to set in?
New Love.
Fresh, exciting, it's the butterflies that drive you insane with anticipation and every moment you come to a new realization that pulls you even closer.
There's familial love.
That's something I can honestly say I've experienced to a very full extent. My family, my ladies, the girls that keep me going when I don't want to. The girls that force feed me, only because they love me enough to do so. The one I would never want to be without. My world would be a very colorless place if they were not a part of it.
Then, why do I feel so worn down?
Why do I continue to feel lifeless?
I've been passively allowing myself to fade away.
And why?