Intervention

When I was very young, when my parents were still married( although it ended very terribly and quickly ), they owned 2 video stores.
My dad took care of one, while my mom had the other.
When you run your own business like that and it was open 7 days a week its time consuming. So I never did see much of either parent during those years and spent most of my time with my grandparents. My grandmother is the person i would spend my days with, who would do my hair, bathe me and i shared a room with her. And in that house my grandfather was the person who did the grocery shopping and I loved going with him. I mean loved it.

Its crazy how things / people play out and change isn't it?

A little while ago I pulled into the grocery store on my way home from school and parked my car. I went through my jacket to find my debit card and got my purse. In the mean time a car had pulled up into the stall next to me and who gets out of it other than my grandfather. I loved going to the grocery store with him and isn't it ironic that i run into him there? I waited till he walked a decent ways away from me and then go out of my car got my groceries and went home.
I didn't talk to him or acknowledge him. And neither did he.

For the past little while a family/childhood friend whom I affectionately refer to as my younger sibling informed me that my grandmother wanted to talk to me very badly. I naturally figured she was probably very sick and thinking this may be the end of her life and that's why she was asking so i asked my sibling about it and he said he would find out why for me. He told me later that she said she simply wanted to talk to me. I know what that means, that means shes going to eventually come out with her " don't you love me/ come visit me" guilt trip and that is something I want no more of. So i never got in contact, I don't want to. I got a call from her on my cell on my birthday, i never gave any of them that number, i recognized the number and was sleeping so i never picked up, i wouldn't have anyways. But they called a few other times from different numbers i think and eventually i ended up answering one. And I made it very quick let her say happy birthday to me, she asked what i was doing and i said school and work and then *duh* she says come visit me and i said ill see. Then i excused myself from the conversation and hung up.
I had finally distanced myself from everything that happened all those years ago, how dare she ruin that.

Not To Be Trusted

I made a mistake...I have said it too many times.
You should turn around and walk away, run rather, before you change your mind and realize whats been lost. But darling its been lost for so long now, does it really matter at this point?
I gave you all you wanted with generosity. You took all I had, it was free.
Get it together and get it all sorted out. Its going to break you down if you allow it. The process has already begun.
Sometimes you just cant see what everyone else keeps telling you is right.

I Made A Mistake

I never really much cared for New Years. I don't really get the hype.
I'm starting this one the same way I have many other things.
Just me stoned in my room.