With Them Everything I Though Was Real Was Just A Lie

So many conflicting emotions.
Directed towards nothing in particular.
There is no issue anywhere that I can clearly point out, no incident that I can look at and say "Hey, that is why I feel so odd."
None.
I just feel not right.
Something is wrong, or Something is missing.
The problem is I have no clue what.
This enrages me.
There are many things I want.
Sooo many things, too many things.
I have family staying at my house. My uncle from the UK, he's young and just got married a little under a year ago.
Guess what he's treating his wife to?
A world tour for 8 months.
Yeah, that's right.
I wanted to die with envy when I heard that.
I wish I could do that.
Not just the world tour.
But the bit about getting married.
There's always that fear, that no one will want me, that I'll never be good enough and thus no one will ever love me enough to want to marry me.
I'm scared that will happen to me.
Time will tell I suppose.
I think I would fall apart if that were the case.
Maybe I've already begun to unravel.