Starting Over Has Never Been So Cynical

True colors have been revealed.
So I'd like to say goodbye forever.
Because I don't want to say hello to you.
And I know you don't want a greeting from me.
The love we all had lasted only as a temporary act.
So go on fooling everyone to think you are something better than you really are.
Go play your instruments.
Be an overdosed star.
Go ahead and fuck me and kiss me once more, don't bother to call back to say baby I want more. Go ahead be intellectual.
Do it now, because one day you aren't going to wake.
And one day you will be washed up and alone.
And think to yourself what has really been gone.
Its so shameful really that I had to go like this.
But even worse we all know why.
And that is the crime here.
And the punishment is taken by me.
But completely acceptable and comfortably agreed.
Hello to the new and riddance to all you old.
Because I am a person not of plastic but solid gold.
I am as real as a lover or friend could ever be.
And I wouldn't change that for you, he, or she.

I Hate Them For Ruining Our Peace And Our Family

So as always...When things start getting better they take a turn for the worst.
This pattern seems to be engraved within my family. And everytime it gets worse..It gets really bad.
After all the effort, energy and not to mention money we put into this house, everyone got to pick and choose the way the wanted their rooms to be.
My grandpa demanded a bedroom on the main floor with a huge window...And he got it.
My uncle wanted a full bathroom in his room and my aunt wanted peach walls...And they got it.
I wanted the basement with a walk-in closet and green/blue/black walls...And I got it.
We wanted French doors and new fireplace, we wanted hardwood and dark tiles, we wanted stainless steel appliances and dark wood cupboards...And we had it all.
It was our home, perfect the way we wanted it in every way possible.
And now, after only living in it a month..Its gone.
Fucksakes.
I don't mean to start rumors but I think god has a sick sense of humor.

If I Could Just Learn To Fucking Deal

Frustration.
That's the only thing I can feel and I don't know why.
If I was asked to pinpoint why I feel this why I would not be able to. I do not know where this feeling came from or why, but its been consuming me for the past week.
I want nothing more than to be left completely alone, to drown in my misery.
To be able to disappear in peace.
But there is still so much to do. I have a lot of time to get things done but I don't know if I will end up getting anything done at all. And not getting anything done would be un-acceptable, laziness will not be tolerated any longer.
I need to keep moving, or else I fear I will never get out of this rut.

I Need You To Know I'm Not Through The Night, Somedays I'm Still Fighting To Walk Towards The Light

I knew they were perfect for each other she didn’t even have to say it.
Though I’m sure her thoughts were of it every time a smile drifted across her lips.
It was him when the walls were shaking and it was him still when my lungs were rattling in my chest. Imagining them side by side there it was.
Perfect puzzle pieces.
Fitting together.
His name is a protest and her name is sugar but together their screaming for a kiss. I hope you two don’t break ties and leave the fringes fraying. I hope she’s not so shy and he isn’t either. Don’t hide your face and run praying he didn’t see you, because whether you say yes or no a part of you will regret not walking up and letting him know you were there...